The Blindfold of Sentiment – IDEDE Oseyande
“Good doesn’t favour me. Anytime I do well for someone, they pay me back with evil”.
Those used to be my mother’s words anytime she is lamenting another relationship gone sour. As a young child, I used to think it was spiritual. The way she often said it, made it look as if she was handicapped, and sentenced to live like that all her life. Each time she said it, I pitied her, and really wished I could help.
As I grew older, it became clear to me why she was always a victim of such ungratefulness. The foundation of it all was her sentimental attachment to her tribe and religion.
I was told of a time her elder sister wanted to help her create an alternative source of income, due to the inconsistency in the payment of salary (as my mum was a civil servant, now retired). So, my aunt had sent rice and beans from Lagos to Benin for my mum to sell. As reported, every family from my mum’s tribe that had access to her came to ‘buy’ mainly on credit. Her church members were not left out either, they too came to ‘buy’. Soon, the rice and beans ran out, since it was not carrying the anointing on the ‘flour and oil’ that was used to sustain Elijah during the time of famine as recorded in the Bible.😜
With no money to show for it, the intended business died prematurely!
This sentimental attachment to her tribesmen and those with same religious inclination, often made her vulnerable to manipulation and extortion. Each time she thought she was doing someone a favour worthy of appreciation, the person thinks he or she is getting an entitlement as her tribe’s person or a church member. This is often the beginning of what she described as ingratitude from the part of those benefiting from her goodwill.
Sentiments blindfolds us from being logical and rational in analyzing issues. The truth is, we are often more critical in asking basic questions when we are not emotionally attached to events or persons.
The ability to be stable enough and to separate emotions from whatever we are doing, is a sure recipe in reducing the percentage of our exposure to betrayals, and backstabbing.
The less emotional you are concerning any issue, the more balanced your analysis of the issue will be.
Enjoy your day!